Penny Parks (4th June 1943 - 11th July 2020)

Her Life Story by Rod Tallowin

A good friend of mine said to me after Penny died that often you don’t really get to know people until you go to their funeral. As with all of us, we each have different facets which different people may see depending on both perspective and context. For those that knew Penny (the vocalist) in the musical world may not have known about her therapy work in the field of Childhood Abuse, conversely those that knew her from the therapeutic side may not have been aware of her vocal talents. Although, as she usually finished off a workshop or training session with a song those people are more likely to have had some inkling of it. Penny was also an excellent artist and poet.

For most of us, we would hope to have some positive impact in life – to make a positive difference to the lives of others to one degree or another, even if it is just within our family environment. Penny though made an incredible positive impact and difference to the lives of so many people during the course of her lifetime. Providing inspiration not just through her therapy, but also through her music, talks and workshops, and with it, left an incredible legacy both directly and indirectly - a legacy that would be very hard to match.

I am minded of the saying:

What we do for ourselves dies with us
What we do for others lives on after us.

Penny’s legacy of the work she did for others will certainly live on.

Through Penny’s work she made aspects of her abuse public. Many that knew her though, may not have been aware of the challenges that Penny faced behind the scenes as it were, which made the person that she was to become and make the contribution that she was able to make to the lives of others.

As Penny died whilst in Covid lock-down a conventional funeral was out of the question. My aim was to have a big celebration of her life at some stage, and even set a date for one in September 2021, but eventually had to cancel that as the infection rate of Covid was on the rise again and travel restricted.

I eventually managed to hold a fitting memorial for Penny on the 15th October 2022. As Well as having many friends, family, colleagues, clients and therapists attending from around the country, through the wonders of technology I streamed it to family and friends around the world who were unable to attend in person. As well as me talking about Penny’s life with contributions from special friends we had a great evening of music and a good spread of vegan food.

My heart is warmed by the many great comments I have received about the evening and how fitting and special the memorial was. Thank you to all who attended both in person and via video and to those who contributed to making it such a success.


Penny’s Life Story

Most of us would like to think that we will leave a positive footprint and legacy in our lifetime. That we have managed to touch a few people in a positive way. Asking ourselves that old question of what we would like our epitaph to say about us. The extent in which Penny made her impact on life and the number she left her mark on however is in a completely different league to most of us. Through her music, her therapy, her workshops as well as through her friendships and the people she simply interacted with on the street, Penny has not just touched the lives of thousands, but in many cases saved the lives of many of them, providing them with the opportunity of a full, complete and satisfying life worth living. She was a fine example of how to turn adversity into opportunity.

Both before and since her passing she received many stories of her impact on various people’s lives, below is just one example:

Back in 1992 I had the gift of visiting Penny whilst she lived in Trimley, near Ipswich. As a 36 year old man, struggling to come to terms with sexual abuse as a child, Penny gave so much that went a long way to saving my sanity. She taught me how to uncover the roots of the mistaken beliefs that dominated my thinking, and put me onto the path of mental hygiene I practice to this day.

I am a different man to the one Penny showed how to go to my safe place, and help my inner child to dress himself as he wanted to be dressed. The first time she showed me that I was loveable is an event I remember vividly 28 years later.

In 1993 she even attended my wedding.

So many things in this life can shape us, but the gifts Penny gave me truly helped. The simple method of finding the mistaken beliefs and correcting them with truth, is a technique I have practiced on many occasions. It is with pleasure I can say that from the mentally dangerous place I started from, with Penny’s help, I am now a peaceful, satisfied man.

So, where did it all start and what gave rise to this remarkable life?

Click here for the (draft) PDF version of Penny’s life story

To have loved and to have been loved.

Separation by W. S. Merwin
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its colour.